Dad struggled all day yesterday with his breathing and anxiety. His oxygen requirements kept going up and he knew that he was going to need to be intubated again in order to keep breathing. Before the surgery, Dad had been insistent that he and Mom finish their living wills. During one of the many doctor appointments before his surgery, Mom handed us his living will. He wanted it very clear that he did not want to live on machines.
Yesterday, he decided that he did not want to go back on the vent. He made all the decisions up to the end. I told the nurse (Nick) what Dad had decided so Nick got right into Dad's face. He wanted to make sure that Dad understood and could hear him. Nick asked him specifically if he wanted to be on the breathing machine and Dad emphatically shook his head no. Then Nick asked him if he wanted medicine or assistance if his heart should stop and, again, Dad emphatically shook his head no.
Nick looked at Dad and said that he knew this was a hard decision to make and it was a little scary. Dad again shook his head no. Dad thought he was going to die twice during these last 5 weeks and he told us that he was not afraid. He had peace because he loved Jesus and he knew without a doubt that he was going to heaven. He was so brave and we needed to respect his decisions.
We gathered around him and read scripture over him and held his hands. We promised we would take care of Mom and thanked him for being such a great dad and "bumpa". We watched him peacefully take his last breaths. He was such a blessing and a gift to us. We know that he is with the Lord, breathing with two healthy lungs and chatting with someone!
We will miss him so much and the ache is deep but we know that this is how he wanted it to be. Thank you for all of your prayers and support and encouragement. This has been a long road and it didn't end the way we wanted it to but you all held us up in so many ways.
We don't know the plans yet for a funeral. Dad also decided that he wanted to be cremated so we have some time to plan and pull things together. We are taking one day at a time and today . . . Mom wants to go to church.
9 comments:
I am so very sorry to hear this but am glad he is finally at peace with Jesus. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family....hugs...Janet
I'm so sorry for your loss. But like everyone is saying, praise God that he is now with the uncreated one, who's knew him before he was even born & now will be with him forever.
Words can not even begin to express our sense of loss and saddness at the passing of your husband, Dad,grandfather and my friend! He was a great friend and mentor and I am going to miss him very much. Our hearts break for you as a family, knowing all you have been through over these past weeks. I know there is a difficult journey ahead. I know if it was one of his friends going through this, Jim would be right there helping our families through it. As I read your posting this morning, I could identify with the Jim you were taking about and that was the Jim Kooiman I knew. His faith in the Lord and his love for all of you was unshakeable. Although I know he is in a better place free of his cancer it is going to be hard to move on without him in our lives! This has been an unbelieveable journey for all of us to witness. The Lord will see you through the days, weeks and months ahead. Please know that we will be praying for all of you as you go through this next journey in your lives. You will never be alone with God at your sides. As one of Jim's friends, I will honor his memory in trying to be the friend and mentor to others that he was to me! Kevin J.
Our heart hurts for your mom and the whole family. May God give you Peace and Understanding in this tough time. Lloyd and Mona
We are so sorry to hear of your loss. What a great husband, father, grandfather, and friend Jim has been to so many people over the years. I will deeply miss his friendship and guidance. Jim took a chance on me nearly 22 years ago when he hired me to work under his leadership in Elk Point. What a great mentor and friend he has been to me over the years. I will never forget all of the great conversations, hunting trips, and advice Jim provided. What a great friend and great family man. Jim was so proud of his family and loved then dearly. We will miss Jim deeply and never forget all that he has done and all that he has given of himself to others. We know that his pain is now gone and he sits with the Lord looking down on us all with fond memories. May the Lord give you all the strength to move forward. We are praying for you and please know that we are there beside you in this time of need.
Prayers and strength to your family as you go through next days, weeks, and months. Jim was a wonderful man and will be missed dearly.
-Wells family
God rest his soul. Our hearts are broken. Jim has been an icon in this little town. He will be missed by so many. This has been such a long struggle for all of you and I know Jim was blessed to have you all by his side never waning in your strength and spirit. Only by God's grace and comfort can you endure. May He wrap his arms around you. God Bless. Please call on us for anything you need.
Cheryl and Jamie
Dearest Allison Family,
I am grieved to hear of your loss. I was praying so hard and believing for Jim's healing to come in the way of a cure and restored health. It did not come that way. I am so sorry. I loved that you posted Psalm 98 and I receive great comfort in knowing that Jim is praising God now, in heaven. Thank you for sharing your life with us, including the struggles with the adventures is a blessing. Love to you all...Dan and Wanda Jackson
it has taken days to find the words to express our sadness to the loss of a great man, friend, father and grandfather. Jim was so much to so many people...I will forever miss the days he would cut across the police dept to pay his water bill..His smile he would allways ask hows it going Fleekie..I used to get so much knowledge from him on those days..I Know Jim is in a far better place than this earth, for that Im so happy Jim is happy now and I can wait to see him and hear him say Fleekie hows it going...We have lost a great man..Thank you Jim and Rhonda for all your support...
Ryan
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