We have been home almost 2 weeks now and we are still in this time of transition. I have discovered that life continued on here while we were in Guatemala. I knew that it would but have found that many of the things that I did or was involved in before we left, no longer have room for me. I have this "double-minded" thing going on in that I feel relief that there are no expectations of me yet I feel grief that I am no longer serving. The first chapter of James talks about being double-minded. James describes it as someone who has doubt and is "like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." (James 1:6) He also calls the double-minded "unstable". I feel like I can't find my place and am being "tossed" about by the instability of my emotions.
Don has been diligently searching for a job. He has had two weeks of first interviews, phone interviews, second interviews, shadowing and more interviews. There are three jobs that are calling and seeking more information. It is all good but we feel like we are being tossed from one option to another. Which is the right option?
We are also praying about selling our house. We would like to get out from under our mortgage yet we have an attachment to our house. We have taken the kids to look at a couple different homes that we could buy if we sold our house. The kids are also feeling this "tossed about" feeling so we have decided we need to slow down a little and allow them some time to adjust.
All of us feel like we left pieces of ourselves in Guatemala. We are happy to be home yet we feel sad that we aren't there. It is such an odd feeling of "where do we belong?"
We have no doubt of the Lord's provision and we have no doubt that the Lord has a plan for us. We just can't see it. James says "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him" James 1:5. We are counting on the fact that the Lord will reveal His wisdom to us in His perfect timing and all the pieces will fit together. We are praying for a clear, straight path. We know that He has a purpose for us and that we just need to take the time to listen for His voice.
We know that many of you have your own struggles that you are dealing with right now. We pray that you will find your comfort, your strength and your provision in the Lord. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." II Corinthians 1:3-4
2 comments:
Dear Allisons, our hearts are with you so much as we experienced a small measure of what you are feeling when we returned from Costa Rica. We pray the Lord gives you light through the grieving and wondering for the future. Big, big hugs in Christ!
You're torn between two lands. I can relate! Blessings on your service there. May God guide your next steps, and help you desire your heavenly home as Abraham in Heb. 11. Thanks for the update.
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